Before You Could Decide

by Rachel Zylstra

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1.
01:59
2.
3.
02:21
4.
5.
04:14
6.
7.
04:32

credits

released December 3, 2008

all songs written and performed by rachel zylstra
dave brenneman { sound engineering
alan douches { mixing and mastering
joe spix & kristin spix { art direction & design
corey hayes { photography
all angels' church & todd dorman { recording space & a piano, in manhattan

extra special thanks to paul degooyer.

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Rachel Zylstra New York, New York

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Track Name: Epilogue
I wouldn’t say I’m in love you
You pass through my mind each day
I think if I knew you loved me
I could just let you stay

You have so much going on
And I’ve so many cares
Why would we take the time
To see what’s really there

This is just too smooth for you
This is too plain easy
Girl keeps spilling ink for you
Boy could take or leave me

There is only so much time
That the window is open wide
And then you watch it close
Before you could decide

I can just hear you chuckling
At this uncomely tune
And as easily see you moping
If you learn that it’s not for you

I hope your dreams come alive
The ones we did not share
And when you take your final bow
That someone else is there
Track Name: Under My Skin
On the bright side I learned
Illness would come to me
When I was out of town
It would not miss a beat
I spent my whole vacation lying around
Speaking through a tunnel, out of a druggy haze
Reading your words on the screen that first night I arrived
To hit me while I’m down

Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin
Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin

The weather fell short
Of our expectations
In a place known for cloudless blue skies
It was chilly and wet
The day that they married – not a single dry eye
And everyone’s a pundit after the cork is popped
Save your money, do first for your honey and all that good stuff
I was too sick to tune in
Miss, do you need some air?
Someone’s taken my champagne

Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin
Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin
It’s a passing phase –

In case they notice I’ve been a bad guest
I have myself planned a small escape hatch
My eyes grow heavy, my smile grows wide on the antihistamine
Now cake and Nyquil will send me back flat- faced on my
King-sized bed
At the La Quinta Inn

There’s a lot of thinking I could do
There are a lot of thoughts I’m passed out to
Must I spell it out –

Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin
Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin

Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin
Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin

Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin
Don’t you get it I’ve still got you under my skin

It’s a passing phase –
Track Name: New Clothes
I’ll sit at my sewing machine until
I’ve stitched out all of my memories of you
I’ll start by ripping out the original hem
These pants were too short to begin with

I’ll add a new button
Remove the zipper
Sew the right side to the left
And when I’m done
I’ll be qualified to
Teach a community class
(But first)

I’ll pump the pedal till those
Sleeves are reattached
To the matching blouse
To the lengthened pants

I think I’ll be wearing these
New clothes all too soon
And then I will not recognize you
I will not recognize you
I will not recognize you
Track Name: Ruined Me Good
I’m testing myself, with patience held under my arm
Intentions to go some corner where I’ll sit and study it well

And as I walk I feel the night air so fresh and cool on my face
I’m testing myself and I’ll be flunking out if I stay at this pace

You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about – I blame you
You ruined me good

I’m testing myself, but discipline stands in my way
Guilty I am of daydreaming al too many moments of the day
I’m testing myself, or else doing nothing at all
Why does this happen to me every time I fall

You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about – I blame you
You ruined me good

I’m testing myself, but what if I find you by my side
Will I abandon my plan with all the regret of a cat with nine lives
I’m testing myself, but now in a different way
Tell me if I make the grade, and I’ll tell you if it’s
Gonna be a good, good, good, good, good, good
Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good
Good, good, good, good, good, good day

You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about – I blame you
You ruined me good

(You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one I am daydreaming about
You are the one – I blame you)
You ruined me good
You ruined me good
You ruined me good
Track Name: Place Time
You there, standing
In your northerly attire
It looks cold there
And you’re smiling like a lover
You’re a fool for the land
Born and bred in Michigan

Sacred Detroit
Built on private transportation
Vies with lakeshore for your tenuous affection
Does a person have a chance
Against monuments and endless sand
How you ache to go on
Like your cities and your songs

It will always be there
It will always change
You’re not missing out on any living thing

You’ve dropped crumbs for every moment documented
Parties, house calls
You thought photos could cement them
But the birds have come at night
Making dinner of your life
How you wish to go back
To the shelter of your past

It will always be there
It will never change
You’re not missing out on any breathing thing

Do you have room in your intent
Room for one without inventions
Room for one made from dust, as fragile as you
And as lost

Now it pains you to commute from a new region
Dear Ann Arbor took your heart in every season
Now each time you return
How it breaks again for her
How you wish to go back
To the shelter of your past

How you wish to go on
Like your cities and your songs
How you itch to go back
But the calendar’s a rat
How you ache to go on
But your love will not prolong you

How you ache to go on
But your love will not prolong you
But your love will not prolong you
But your love will not prolong you
But this love will not prolong you
Track Name: Upper East Side
Walk down the street
The weather's colder
Than I'd expected
When I looked out the window
The bright blue sky
Looked so inviting
The sun looked hot, but
I guess I was wrong

Went to my job
But I was tardy
I'd not been paying attention to the clock
At work day's end
Eight hours later
I realized I'd been out to lunch all day

I'm doing time
On the Upper East Side
With all its romance
Designer clothes and dogs
I could be pressed
By all I ever wanted
But I am haunted by wanting to be free

I'd fall in love
If I didn't know much better
Right upon moving here
To the city deep and wide
Maybe I did
And now I'm paying for it
And now I'm falling forward
To be caught before I die

I'm doing time
On the Upper East Side
With all its fruit stands
Museums and the park
I could be pressed
By all I ever wanted
But I am haunted by wanting to be free

Reading the Post
There on the platform
Awaiting my ride home
On the green line train
I'd never have guessed
That there and then I'd find some rest
Sobs came in waves as my tears
Soaked the newsprint
Soaked the newsprint
Tears soaked the newsprint page in my hand

Sometimes I feel I'm doing time
On the Upper East Side
The shoes, great views, restaurants
Fat wallets and iPods

Sometimes I feel I'm doing time
On the Upper East Side
I could be pressed
By all I ever wanted
Yet I am haunted by wanting to be free
Track Name: This Weekend
The rain keeps falling and I’ve resigned
There will be no sunshine this weekend
And what will become of the rooftop parties
Revised for our too-cramped apartments
Well, if I did not know my own mind I might say
I’d rather be over in Washington State
But then if it’s raining in both places
Maybe my mood is my permanent location, my dismay

Why your phone call
Calling late into the night
In the nick of time
Why my heart leap
At the sound of your voice
Why such a thrill to hear you say my name

What good does it do to worry my head
To lay on my pillow awaiting
A night of bad sleep and of diesel-fueled trucks
That stall by my window at two AM
And what good does it do to think-rearrange
One’s life of beloved independence
All for a whisper that waits on a line?

Why your phone call
Calling late into the night
In the nick of time
Why my heart leap
At the sound of your voice
Why such a thrill to hear you say my name

Darker and louder it gets, I plunge my head into my comforter
Into my bed – it’s my only escape
The fan oscillates to the point it distracts
From the heat, from the street, from me
All these bells and whistles going off
I can’t get a wink un-

Till your phone call
Calling late into the night
In the nick of time
Why my heart leap at the sound of your voice
Why such a thrill to hear you say my name

Why your phone call
Calling late into the night
In the nick of time
Why my heart leap
At the sound of your voice
Why such a thrill
Why such a thrill
Why such a thrill to hear you
Say my name